a night of loneliness
by AniUsagi
Summary: oookaaay the last upload got screwed up, so lets try again


"I care about you." Her voice echoed through his mind, his body, his soul. The same three words repeated themselves endlessly like a mantra. 

Everywhere he went, the same words followed him. No matter what the time of day, no matter where the location, the phrase played throughout him, leaving him with both a wonderfully excited feeling, and the pangs of loneliness and torture. 

Silently, he lifted his wings. And he began to fly. 

****************** 

The young blonde girl gazed out of her window absent mindedly, her fingers brushing the edge of a well worn photo. The photograph was faded and torn on the edges, but to the girl holding it, it meant more than anything. Her sapphire blue eyes drifted down to the eyes in the photo. A deep, intense brown. Almost razor like. Eyes that mirrored hurt, yet tenderness at the same time. Eyes she had spent the last twelve months of her life trying to figure out. 

Sighing, she stood up and walked to the other side of her room. She lifted a pile of magazines on top of her desk, sliding the photograph underneath, so it was well hidden. Reaching into her dresser, she pulled out the warmest nightgown she could find. A present from her father, she noted to herself, as she slipped it over her head. 

Glancing at her nearby clock radio, she realized it was almost 11:00. Even with school tomorrow and who knows what else on the agenda, it wasn't unusual for her to be up this late. She rarely slept, for when she did, she found herself tortured by her conscious and dreams. Sometimes, she found herself lying awake in bed for hours, unable to think of anything but him. 

Nonetheless, Rachel climbed underneath her covers, letting her golden locks fan around her on the pillow like a beautiful halo. Looking up at the ceiling, she began to memorize the pattern of stars she had placed up there to dazzle her. She found her eyelids growing heavy, and her lashes slowly closing to the great weight upon them. 

****** He raked his talon against her window softly, in case she happened to be asleep. Peering in the window, he saw her stir softly beneath the sheets, but she did nothing to acknowledge she knew he was here. For a moment, he hesitated before pushing the window in. Telling himself he would stay for only a moment, Tobias entered her room and found his eyes locked on her immediately. 

Fluttering his wings gently, Tobias perched himself on the nearby desk, scattering a pile of magazines that had been cluttered there. Glancing down, Tobias noticed a flicker of something. Curiously, he craned his neck for a better look. 

It was him. Or the way he used to be. An out of focus school photo that had been taken only a few weeks before this insane battle with the Yeerks had begun. In it, his hair had been in desperate need of a hair cut, as it hung limply on his head. In every photo, he had always detested how his eyes seemed bigger than the rest of him. His aunt had once teased him for it, saying he had the eyes for a bird. If only she knew how right she had been. But this picture.. why was it here? Feeling the familiar pangs hit his heart, Tobias realized Rachel had held onto it all this time. When no one else bothered to remember Tobias the human, Rachel did. 

And that was why he loved her. 

Looking up at her again, Tobias made a quick decision. He quietly found his way to her closet, where he knew she had a stash of clothes his size. Rachel always looked for a reason to shop, and she was always happy to find stuff for him. He smiled, remembering how once she said it was like dressing up a Ken doll. 

Closing his eyes, Tobias began focusing on his former self. His human self. Clumsy fingers. Pale, almost garish skin that contrasted harshly with his dirty blonde hair and dark brown eyes. Long, thin arms and legs. When he finished morphing, he came back out into her room. 

Unaware of his presence, Rachel sighed contently in her sleep. Tobias frowned for a moment, wondering what Rachel could possibly be dreaming about. He found himself growing more and more curious as her lips curved into a smile, all during her slumber. Did she have any idea how crazy she made him? He could sit here for hours watching her sleep, and not be bored. 

Moving closer to her bed, Tobias realized she was mumbling something. Curiously, he leaned in closer and felt his heart pound as he confirmed something he had never heard before in his life, being spoken aloud. 

Kneeling next to her ear, Tobias whispered, "Say it again." Hoping not to wake her and spoil this moment. Reaching her hands out to touch the Tobias in her dream, Rachel replied softly, "I love you Tobias." 

The words he had yearned to hear for so long. The only thing that he had wanted, he had found. She loved him. His pulse quickened as he gently lifted her covers and crawled into bed next to her. He just wanted to touch her. Any part of her. The hair that tangled across the pillowcase, her skin almost as soft as the rest of her, her fingers, gently curling around the edge of the blanket. Bringing himself closer to her, Tobias found his arms sliding around her slender waist, bringing her closer to him. 

Rachel's hands found her way around him as well, until they were both locked in a warm and lazy embrace. Her fragrant hair was inches from him, and he felt himself becoming dizzy, having her so near to him. 

Reaching out to hold onto one of her hands, Tobias traced her palm gently with his index finger, finding himself almost entranced by the way her hand even gave off so much life and energy. Resting her head on his shoulder, Rachel stirred again, softly. Panicking, Tobias backed away, but her arms reached out and pulled him against her again. 

They lay like that for an hour or so, Tobias unsure if he was awake, or just dreaming the whole sequence of events. When he glanced over at her radio clock, he noticed, with a quick wave of anguish, that it was time to demorph. 

Gently detangling himself from her, he began the painful task of leaving. He held onto her hand the longest, unable to keep from wondering what it would be like to feel the same love from her heartbeat as he did from her hand. 

With one last glance, Tobias demorphed back into red-tailed hawk once more. Without looking back, he flew out the window and into the twilight, unable to comprehend what he had just done. 

***** The next morning, Rachel awoke, to find herself with her arms wrapped around one of her pillows. At the same time, across the town, Tobias woke up on his usual perch with the all too familiar realization that he was still a hawk, not a human. 

Later that afternoon though, he noticed a familiar bald eagle flying around his meadow.  it said to him in thought speak. 

The eagle's eye bore into him for a moment, then relaxed. I had this great dream last night she began. 

Tobias couldn't stop the sheepish grin that spread across his face. I know. he told her. *More than you'll ever realize, I know.* 


End file.
